Remembrance
by Kittiko-Blues
Summary: Oneshot. Jimmylegs mulls over on some of his memories on his shift.


**I do not own Jimmylegs or any of the POTC characters. © to Disney. Guiliana and Liam, however, belong to me.**

Remembrance 

The deck creaked achingly under his footsteps as he made his round. Cat coiled tightly around his fist, fin flexing sporadically on his back, the sun shining defiantly on his coagulated, sea-soaked flesh. Jimmylegs hadn't uttered a sound yet, wordlessly inspecting the area and making sure the crew was working its arse off. If he had to, he would bring the whip down, even if it wasn't necessary to; he was not in a good mood today.

_Like this is any different frem any other day. _The Bo'sun skulked idly around mid-deck with a very sullen but malicious expression. Once again, his mind was preoccupied not with his job, but with his life before his job. Guiliana was on his mind, the British Navy, Cambridge, his first peek at Liam at his birth. His head was swimming, and he backhanded himself to shake his thoughts.

He glared between crew members, upping the speed in a few slacking deckhands. At the moment, he could feel his softer side glazing over on him, easing the tension out of the rigid muscles in his back and chest. Hopefully no one would notice though. _I doubt they will._ They were already so used to his unpredictable temper, his quick reflexes, and his stellar performance with the whip. No one would think twice about Jimmylegs ever having a less violent side. Jimmylegs had no emotion, as far as the cowering crew was concerned.

But he did though, and that was what partially bothered him. The crew didn't want to see an entirely different man then the malevolent boatswain; it was too big a change, and much too hard to believe anyway. Jimmylegs huffed silently to himself, pouring over his thoughts again. He spent most of his pre-Dutchman days as a Royal Navy officer, of the higher rank, a respectable sailor from England's Cambridge. His leave was little, and he hated every day that he had to spend away from Guilana. He never did get to marry her like he promised. He dreaded missing all those opportunities at sibling bonding, as it came too late for him to make up for it when he found out Liam succumbed to Scarlet fever.

All those memories were hardly a blur though; he merely hid them from everyone. He never let on that he had feelings. He deemed it unwise to tell anyone, even Koleniko, whom he confided in quite frequently. The Captain wouldn't be particularly happy to know that his most hardened and sadistic crewman had a clandestine soft spot. What good would that do him? _Captain doesn't like the weak ones._ He sighed inaudibly and snagged Wheelback in the leg. "A lil' faster would suffice!" The nervous crewman scuttled off quickly to the other end of the deck. Jimmylegs rolled his eyes and snorted.

Time seemed to pass unreasonably slow for him, just wanting the day to be over with. He desperately wished he could rid his head of the current thoughts too, but it was impossible. No matter how many times he slapped himself or gritted his teeth or barked orders, he couldn't shake those memories, those faces, those feelings from his conscience. His concentration broke away from those thoughts when he heard the _thunk_ on wood, the noise he knew so well. _Stop livin' in the past. Ye have no future, so all ye have is the present. Deal with it. _He shook his head once more, finally clearing out the fragile demeanor he bore just moments earlier. His hands tightened on the whip, and his voice rose in his throat. "Get movin' ye bilge rats! Captain's comin'!" It was as if nothing had crossed his mind at all.

He was relieved that his mind was void of everything he just mulled over, acting like none of it ever happened. All he could think of was getting the sulking crew up to pace, inflicting as much pain as he could. Jimmylegs scoffed at the idea of him being the slightest bit pleasant. He was the cruelest man on the ship (next to Jones), and he prided himself in that reputation. Nothing could move him or touch him. Nothing. But deep down in his heart, he knew it was all an act, a shameful denial. His anger and hatred couldn't match the pain he really was feeling. All he could do was simply push it away, and hope Jones wouldn't suspect a thing.

Standing at attention as Jones walked up on deck, Jimmylegs smiled maliciously, wringing the cat in his hands patiently as he awaited any orders.


End file.
